Saturday, 30 November 2013

Gender as a Social Construction

The idea that gender difference is socially constructed is a contested view. The society and culture create gender roles that are adhered to by the individuals. They are considered ideal for a person of that gender. Looking at one side, it’s clear how gender has been constructed by the patriarchal world. Gender roles are assigned to women by the male dominated world where women are to remain submissive. Aphra Behn’s the rover presents a male dominated world where the father and the brother decide the suitable husbands for the daughters and sisters and the women are to remain silent about their desires. Florinda is considered a property that can be traded for in the marriage market. She is not allowed to love but to consider Don Vincentio’ “fortune” and the “jointure” he’ll make” to Florinda as his wife. Hellena, too, is “designed” to be a nun, thus when she sides with her sister against her brother, Don Pedro silences and expels her to “go to her devotion”. For the time when Florinda asserts her individuality and escapes from her brother’s protection, she faces a greater vulnerability as she twice becomes the victim of attempted rape. Anita Pacheco points out in her essay ‘Rape and the Female Subject in Aphra Behn’s The Rover’ the only two “patriarchal definitions” of women: either that of a lady or a whore. We see both of these in the major characters- Florinda, Hellena and Angellica. There seems to be no middle ground in terms of the way women are perceived. Pacheco also talks about how the boundary separating the two has become blurred; how the line of distinction between a “maid of quality” and a whore is “blurred” in the play. For instance, in the garden scene where Willmore tries to rape Florinda, he considers her to be just another “errant harlot” who had her “cobwebs door set open at this time of the night”. Willmore says so as Florinda was no longer under the protective shield of her brother. She is also the victim of an attempted rape in the scene where Blunt seeks revenge upon her for the false accusations.
The language used by men in the play is that of trade. In the beginning of the play when Belvile is lost in thoughts of Florinda, Fredrick points out that Belvile has no possibility of “gaining” her upon which Belvile argues that his “rival” the Viceroy’s son is more “powerful” as he is a “man of fortune”. For the women, the woman is a prized possession that is to be won, To Don Pedro, who refused to give him Florida, Belvile says that he “won her by my sword” and that she is his by “conquest”. Male characters, in fact, celebrate their power by boasting of their strength. Willmore wins the love of the courtesan Angellica as she admits he has a “power too strong to be resisted”
Despite the fact that male characters try to define and restrict them, the women characters resist such unjust exercised of authority and challenge the male gender by asserting a new code of conduct based on a more individual choice. “Power”, writes Judith Lowder Newton, “is the ability to impose one’s self on another or to defend one’s self from imposition.” Behn’s female characters refuse to be submissive and often defy the social norms and  codes built for them. In the opening scene of the play, we are introduced o a space where women can express their ideas and comments on the world of men and criticize the ills of the society.
Behn, a female writer working in the domain of men creates her female characters as the ones that cross the boundaries of social codes, thereby deconstructing the gender roles assigned to them. 

Sunday, 20 October 2013

A Shubh Aarambh!

A day before, you are fretting over whether you'll be able to sail through what's going to come the very next day or not. Worry and Anxiety promise to be with you in thick and thin. You are drunk with the poison of expectations. What happens when you're drunk?
You let it all go!
That is the way to go, boy!
When you let it go; not fret over it, it actually comes back to you with a blessing.
Okay, if you thought I had been talking of something grave and significant all this while, I think I should better      open it up. All this while, I've been talking about clothes! Oh come on, it's a big and plump Indian Wedding, what else did you expect? It's the season of everything bling and you cannot breeze through it without having second thoughts about your clothes. Especially if you belong to the female species. An ordinary printed salwar kameez, no matter how many bucks you shelled out on it, will bring you eyes and words rolling and attacking you. That bling factor is surely required!
If I come back to the very idea of letting go, I must tell you it works wonders. It's like you're wearing the denims that someone else has asked you to wear and when you take them off and put on your comfortable pyjamas, you realize it's all so stupid! Difficult to comprehend? Okay, I'll cut it short. It is like when you are inside this whole jingbang, you feel you've got to flow with the crowd, do what everyone else is doing. But it's only when you step out of it and let it all go that you are truly yourself. And, by that I mean what every other creature in movies or popular websites tell us to do: Be Yourself! That sounds crazy but it's worth the effort. And, it's easy too. You just tell yourself you look beautiful (oh, the pancakes do wonders!) and it's done! Jokes apart, you've to really let it all go. Just sit back; act as if you're high and say to yourself: It's all good to me, come whatever may. And, there you go. Work accomplished.
So when you wake up the very next morning and work hard like you've never done that before, you're surely in for a treat! Cleaning the entire house doesn't seem to be a Herculean task, does it? Once that's done, what remains for you is to sit and eat fruits. Fruits? Hell yeah. The fruits of your hard work! Sounds quite philosophical and I can’t help it.
The next bit is even more interesting. This is when the ‘Shaadi ka Kirtan’ function is about to begin. We, Indians, it seems, love the last moment touch-up. Are my hair well tied up? Have the pancakes hid the blemishes well? IS the dress glittery enough to call it a good beginning to the fatty wedding that’ll follow? Oh, boy. The brain gets clogged yet again and you apply Rule number one: let it all go. That said, you step out and do what you feel is good.  A group of women sing in praise of a list of Gods and Goddesses and the young girls and boys in the family dance to the tune. So, not only considering your choice but also as part of the ritual, you rise up and dance to their tune. And, if you are someone like me who has a little trouble in shaking the leg, you’ve got to come up with new inventions in the dancing steps, without feeling embarrassed and enjoying the celebrations instead!
Now, because today, we not just live in the real world but the virtual one as well, everybody around us wants to be clicked. Snap, snap. One means you want to preserve this special day as a memory; ten would be like you’re so happy that you want to be clicked with every member present there; five hundred means that you have completely submitted yourself to the virtual world and you need a break! This fake-book is like if you didn't put up a picture or made a status of some event that you attended in the real world, well, you never really went there. *chuckles*
Okay, that is digression. So leaving all that crap, you go ahead and dance! You don’t really seem to care about the virtual world because you chose real over virtual. You just dance till people ask you to sit because they have to have a praying session as well.
And, then comes the sentimental moment. The to-be-bride sits in the center surrounded by people and the singers sing songs that make everyone around her cry. She cries too. You don’t understand their situation when you’re not into tears and you choose not to understand it because you might encounter the same some other day.
Moving on, there comes the eating part. You invoked Him for a shubh aarambh to the wedding, you've cannot miss the fruits. Fruits, again? Hell yeah! Only this time, they are in the form of Dahi-bhallas, aalo-chaat, dosa, cheela and halwa, not to miss the different colors of aerated drinks being served. That said you can’t just dive in and hog because, hey, you’re the host family. And, well, it is beautiful to play the host. It might be tiring but yes, it is beautiful. You just automatically get into the skin of the host, no practice or pretension required. That is awesome.
After that bit is over, what remains for you is to wind up the entire function which a woman remarked was a good ending for one function but you correct her by addressing it to be a good beginning to the beautiful event yet to come. That too is a journey. Man, too much philosophical thoughts to digest.
When that too is done, you find a good place in your house, sit with a small cup of coffee and say, “Oh, this has surely been a Shubh Aarambh!”


Saturday, 13 July 2013

The Amazing Indiblogger Meet!


The car took a sharp left turn
and left us at the entrance.
We inquired the whereabouts of it
and a man guided us to the main hall.


 As I entered the hall,
golden and golden in ambiance,
there was commotion;
hustle and bustle as they may call it.

I walked in and was greeted by a familiar face
the girl I met was an acquaintance from school.
Being at  place with hundreds of people
was a warm welcome
not just people were they,
but were called by a name unique to us.

I had been wearing a big smile as I had entered the hall
so without wasting any more time
I got myself a cuppa hot cappuccino
with chocolate cookies and croissant
and began a healthy interaction with the fellow folks.

As the clock struck two
 we were invited into another hall
it was a rather bigger one
with a roof.

A man named Anoop announced
"Welcome to the AmbiPur Indiblogger Meet, bloggers!"
There we were!
We are the bloggers
not just ordinary people.
We lend words to our thoughts
and pour out all that's into our hearts.

As I entered in a long queue
I could only grab the table at the back
and thought if I wouldn't be left out.

Next to me sat a beautiful young woman
who seemed to be of nineteen or twenty.
As we introduced ourselves to each other
she turned out to be a mother of a two year old child!
As I spoke to her
I found a sweet voice!
We chatted a lot
and found our passion for literature in common!

As the meet began
not wanting us to sleep through it
He asked us to remove our hairbands and clips
and do what all crazy musicians do
HEAD BANGING!
I felt like I had an electric guitar
and was banging my head
with my hair moving in all directions!

After this, I was greeted with a pleasant surprise
as I won myself a gift
for the best stinky picture!
I could see all heads turned toward the back of the hall
and I standing and smiling!
I wasn't left out!

This was followed by the introductory session
where bloggers introduced themselves
and their blogs
the one that guides people with the knowledge of health problems
to the RWA Bhagidari one that helps you solve your locality's issues such as water or electricity woes,
there were lots of them who wrote for social causes.
Finally I got a chance to introduce myself
that was a bright opportunity!
Life is what I write about, I said.

From the best technology blog war
to the fashion blog
it was an amazing ride
to know people!

The delight was carried forward
with the delicious food!
With the finger-licking butter chicken
the lip-smacking lasagna
and the delicious pastries
the taste buds couldn't be satiated more!

The next hour had the Ambipur's Spray's workings
interacting with people
and asking them about the ways they devised
to keep their home #FreshNHappy!
Incense Sticks, Room fresheners
the people had it all!

Around 5
when they began distributing us the Ambipur's samples
we thought the meet to be over
until the man named Anoop
once again took over the mike
and with his articulate skills
asked us to be prepared for another game!

Having been divided into 8 teams
of different fragrances
we're given the topic 'cartoon' to act upon.

Our project manager instantly came up with the story
of Chota Bheem and his pet dog, Pluto
who used to shit every where he went by
and would stink a lot!
When Bheem was strolling Pluto in the park
and Micky and Mini mouse were sitting there
Pluto pissed and faceted all around the place
which made Mini Mouse swell up
and get angry with Mickey!
No one but the Hawahawai girl
who came with her Hawaiian Flowers
could save the day!
Ambipur made the whole park
FreshNHappy!

After our performance
we watched the others
Zombies and Smelly Cats
Smelly dogs to smelly cats
all had a stinking ride.
Not Batman
Not Superman
Not Spiderman
could save the city!
It was only AmbiMan
who came up
with the best fragrances
and saved every town
from the smelly creatures!

Interactive and fun- filled as it was
it ended on a cheerful and strong note
with every table shouting it out
Literally!

From a 15 year old blogger
to a 50 year old one
From the pen drives and universal remote
to the PlayStation and tablets
as prizes
the meet couldn't be more delightful!

In the end
I discovered a big family
whose every member had one thing in common
Indians by birth, Bloggers by choice.
A happy day it was!
Because We Blog, therefore We are!

Thank you, Indiblogger!


Sunday, 9 June 2013

A beautiful part of me!

Dear Lucknow,
I'm back to Delhi. Our luggages have been loaded in the car, we've bid our share of goodbyes to the other people as now we are to part ways. Back there, we had all been together. As we drive back home, I get flashes of the roads. I see Connaught Place and I'm reminded of Hazratganj. I see the wide roads and I'm reminded of the roads of Gomti nagar. This road reminds me of the one that leads to my relatives' house. This one, that one. This, that.
Sigh.
Day before, I was missing home. I remember sitting in a corner of the house for a while, going through pictures. Pictures of my friends and family back home. And, I was homesick.
And, it's right now that I miss Lucknow. I miss the streets; I miss the food; I miss the people; I miss the train journey; I miss the plants there; I miss the balcony view; I miss Lucknow.
In the afternoon, as I stood there at the station, I gave a final look at the view and said, "You'll be missed."
We get attached to people; I got attached to the place. But, after all, the place is made up of it's people. I did capture pictures in the camera. But not everyone will be able to see them. They are stored in my memory. My eyes worked quite well. Ah, what beautiful pictures! I miss the bazaars, the heat, the basket chaat, the late night gossiping sessions, but most importantly, I miss my relatives there. We had become a part of each other in the last four days. The cheerful train journey! Oh we just happen to make friends there too! You're just so beautiful, Lko!
Oh, Lucknow, it's as if I've left a part of me with you. Or, maybe, I've brought along a new part with me here. And, that's you.
I guess I'm too emotional to say more.
Well, tonight when I sleep, I would like to dream about you. Yes.
Miss you.
Love,
Devv



A new journey in the destination.

The train proceeds slowly. The train is moving hence we seem to move too and you see people pass by. A boy walking in the middle of a track, train on the far end of another track, a cow on the adjacent track. On the other side of the train, there are trees. As the train moves slowly, just like in a movie, all the memories start to pour into my mind like a heavy water flow from the top of a roof.
The train gains momentum now. It starts to increase it's speed. Even though I was missing home a day before, now that I see the things outside pass by, there seems an emotional burst inside me. There comes the idea of attachement. We get attached very easily. Be it to a  place or a person. The past four days have been beautiful. I use the word beautiful quite often. That is because beauty is something that you feel from the inside. My journey was perhaps beautiful because the world there was real. You got to meet people who were both physically and mentally present around you. I'm not completely against the virtual world- sometimes we do need to connect with people not present with us for some reasons- but we do need a break when we are mindlessly engaged in the virtual world. 
My journey to another city was a learning experience for me. I had a different environment; different from the previous monotonous one. They say that after the journey comes a destination. Well, that might be true as many experienced people have come to this conclusion. But what I feel now is that there is a journey even in a destination. The journey never ends. My destination might be to go back home; yet I think I'll begin a new journey when I return as I return with new experiences. The word 'new' is fascinating. As my brain processes this word, it asks me to be different. To look at the same things in a new way. Optimistic much for me. Perhaps that is precisely what I was looking for when I had decided to begin on the journey. It doesn't really matter whether it is to a different state or a different country; what matters is your outlook. The way you look at the things around you; the way you look at yourself.
To eat, to drink, to visit the busy markets- all these were things that I could have even done back home. But what the difference was a change in the environment; but most importantly, a change in my perception.
I learnt a lot. Perhaps it is because I had myself decided to learn. That's how we are. If we tame our mind, we can achieve that which almost seemed like a distant dream.
Revelation. I like it. I'm happy.
As my journey in the train nears it's end, I do not at all feel drained out because of lack of sleep. Instead, I feel active. I feel there's a new girl inside me, geared up for another journey.
Tracking this six hour journey was like looking back, but at the same time, looking into yourself.
Peeps, you just need to change your perspective. That's about it. I hope it helps everyone else too who's reading this.
Let's all get on a journey to discover ourselves. See you on the other side, folks!
P.S. I dedicate this post to you, dear sister. That was motivational much. Thank you.

Friday, 7 June 2013

Musings from the Lucknow diary.

Note: The thoughts aren't in a chronological order and might not even be interlinked, yet they make some sense individually. Please, bear with me. Thank you.
Mr Brown's Bakery man handed us a sapling as we collected the cake we had ordered. Seems like a green initiative. Perhaps a souvenir to take back home. It almost seems like a movie scene when you are on a drive from one end of the city to the other, with the windows rolled down and the wind caressing your face with a feather.
Here, the people walking down the streets do not know me and neither do I. That makes much sense to me as they can't be prejudiced.
Disconnection with the Fakebook did prove to be cheerful for me as it brought me to enjoy the real life and not be stuck in the virtual one.
And there comes a six year old kid. As we engage him in conversations, we ask him why he no longer played with a female friend of hers. "She no longer plays the games that I like!"
He chuckles. I muse over it.
He shall surely have a different response when we put the same question before him ten years from now.
And then another thought from the previous night. When do you really grow up? Is it when you gulp down vodka mixed with Sprite in the ratio of 4:1? Well, I don't know.
And then there is my cousin. From her I learn that what a person seems to be from the outside might not be what he is from the inside.
Inside, there might be troubles. But outside there is happiness. Dee have the courage to do that. You, dear sister, I'll take back home as an epitome of strength because you have the courage to face the beautiful patriarchal society.
Oh and sometimes it feels so good to see the dawn again without that doze of sleep during the night.
I've been awake for the pasttwenty four hours now. I'm so happy to have tried something new; to have witnessed dawn twice without a single moment of sleep.
There I see thunder and rain. Oh yeah, even I'm glad I did something new and different. Sigh.
Time to sleep, fellas.

Devika Gulati wishes to stay away from TheFakeBook so she tags herself in her post:
Musing at 5am right from the balcony of  a house in Lucknow. (Unable to fetch the exact location)

Thursday, 6 June 2013

Hey, that's a new me!

Dear me,
It's half past five early in the morning and I've already hit the roads. The one thing I've realized of lately is that Delhi is beautiful! There is so much of green area here. Another thing that I've realized is that people set to work even at this time in the morning. There stands a rickshaw puller waiting.
And then, I ponder over the idea of change. Change is needed for the healthy growth of a human. Change is beautiful. You move from your comfort zone and enter a new milieu. You discover a new world which is full of novel ideas.
As I look around, I see tracks, trees and buildings.
That bliss feeling. There's internal happiness inside me. There are a lot of people around me, but only a few seem to be interested in appreciating the aesthetic nature. There's a sense of euphoria inside me because I somehow seem to understand the nature of 'change'. Change is inevitable; change is beautiful.
So till yesterday, I would meticulously point out my flaws to myself. But right now, it's different. Sample this:
The old me: I remember certain things only when I'm done writing a letter. I'm such a loser.
The new me: Girl, that is why they invented the post script.
Oh boy. This revelation came from within me. It just came like a magic spell, perhaps. But it struck. And I'm happy about it.
There's an old story that I read in the book Eat, pray,love. It goes something like this: there was once a poor man who would visit the church each day, praying to God to make him win the lottery. Each day he would say, "God, please, please, please, let me win the lottery!"
And he would visit the church every single day. One day, God decided to come down himself and said, "Son, please, please, please buy a ticket."
And, just like Liz, I too have a ticket. Though not three but one, not to Italy or Indonesia but to Lucknow,  a city in India. And, here I am, in the train, beholding the beautiful scenario of the fields and the river; reading the newspaper, gulping down a hot cuppa coffee with nice cutlets. That's like a treat to me. By the time I finish with this post,  it'll be 7am so you can see how slow a writer I am. Oh no, wait. I ain't a slow writer; it's just that we took time in locating our seats and settling ourselves. Yes, that is exactly what happened. Oh yeah, I see hint of optimism here. Yeah. That's about it. I'm searching for more thoughts in my brain, in case I miss on something. But you know there's always the post script at your rescue.
Here's to a new beginning!
Love,
Devv

Monday, 3 June 2013

A life gone by.

There's the boat
that I had rowed
to reach the ultimate destination.

There are the green patches of land
with huts and trees
the leaves withered away.

Alone did I row
Alone did I walk the fields
Alone did I sat by
to admire the trees.

Now I'm here
my spirit soars in the sky
here, i wonder
what happened to a life gone by.


The Shadow.

He sees his shadow
green and muddy
where shall he go?

He stands there 
staring into the yellow water 
the sun forms the giant shadow in the river.

He had a mask put on
that which he could save his life with
disguising him. 

He moved on
toward the empty space
not knowing where to go.

Laelius and the secret of the crystal balls.

Note: I wrote this story when I was thirteen years old. Hence, you'd find childlike narration here.

"Laelius, eh, Laelius, get up, do you hear?- Eh, get a move on!"
Laelius was thin and blonde and was about to turn eighteen. She had blue eyes and very charming lips. She was very fond of mountaineering.
"Get up! Hi!" shouted her mother.
"Remember you have to go on a trek today", she then said warmly.
Laelius was all lost in her dreams.
"Wake up, honey. I have arranged the breakfast table for you. Take a bath and get ready, your father will be here any moment. If her sees you sleeping, he will be very enraged."
Laelius was ready by the time her father reached home.
"Very well, my daughter!", mumbled her father. "All the best!"
Laelius was all ready to have an amazing and dazzling trek. She had packed all the equipment that would be required during the trek and was ready to go.
According to her, mountaineering was the most delightful and a frantic hunt. Perhaps, this trek would turn out to be more frantic than she had expected...
She had left behind a number of peaks, some big, some small in size, yet she had tremendous energy to travel miles. She was very doughty. She had have some healthy fruits between her journey so that she should not feel dormant. As she laid on a mountain to rest, she discovered something unimaginable! Someone frozen in cold!
A plump boy, not exact;ly plump but looked healthy as if tonnes of apples had been stored in his stomach. He was shivering in the cold.
 Laelius fumbled the frozen boy and soon he was perfectly normal.
"Thank you very much for your assistance. I am Haldor Hamson."
I'm Laelius Faulkner", she said with a feeling of pride.
"How did you get into such a state? Who was behind the evil act? For how many days have you been lying here negligently?" All these questions engulfed Laelius's mind strongly. She was eagerly waiting for Halder to answer them.
"There are some elves", he grumbled, "who can deceive you by their false conversion into a human body. I reckon you will not fall a prey to them. These elves had befooled me and I was in a state of complete desertion. There was no one to help me."
Haldor sobbed in profuse pain.
"But, now everything will be fine, dear", said Laelius. "Together we will embark to extricate this mystery."
Both Laelius and Haldor were to deal with a very dangerous situation. After exploring a number of caves in the hilly areas, they found four crystal balls stuck to the wall. Haldor was startled and bewildered to see those balls. He couldn't figure out the mystery behind them. However, Laelius could. She tried to relate the balls with the elves and came to a misty conclusion that maybe those balls would take them to the elves, that maybe there was a secret hiding in those four crystal balls.
For a moment, silence engulfed the cave.
"Have you ever thought of the monsters entering our city, destroying it", said Haldor. "It is horrifying, isn't it?"
"Please, Haldor, do not speak rubbish. Let us think about the secret behind these crystal balls", reiterated Laelius.
"I think these balls are of no use, Laelius."
"These couldn't be useless, can they?"
"Yes, they are. Don't you see, these cannot even be destroyed. Look, if you throw them on the ground, they come back to you."
"Keep quiet and sing along!" Laelius chants,
Oh my Christ! Guide us so that we can unsolve the mystery.
The mystery behind these crystal balls.
Oh my Christ! Protect us from the elves.
Oh my Christ! Show us the correct way of returning home safely, destroying the elves.
Oh my Christ! Oh my Christ! Oh my Christ!

Accidentally, Haldor struck the balls on the mirror.
"What did you do, Haldor?! Are you out of your senses?!"
"I am sorry! It happened accidentally!"
"What! You stupid fellow!"
Laelius was now worried and frightened too.
"What have you done!" she yelled.
"Shh... come here and look at these."
"What rubbish!" 
"No, look."
"Those four elves..."
"That means that those elves were hiding in these balls!"
"Yes, now let us pick them up and throw them down and close this mystery forever!"
"Yes, let us do it!"
Soon after this, they were out of the cave safely. They reached Laelius's house.
"Sir, your daughter is such a brave girl! I owe my life to her outstanding courage!"

Be the change.

As I peep through the window
the balmy moonlit night
illuminates my face.

I see no sun
I see no birds
I feel the warmth of the moonlight upon my face.

There lies a star
gleaming in the colossal sky
asking you to be calm.

The vast expanse
the gleaming stars
the moonlight's warmth.

They whisper words of wisdom
they ask me to change
to change.

It comes with time, I whisper back.

To bring about a change
to do unusual things
to jump around because of no reason.

They ask me to change
to change
it comes with times, i say.

They ask me to change
to change
I'm ready, I say.

They ask me to observe dawn and dusk
they ask me to cherish the rain
they ask me to behold the flowers
they ask me to discover new paths
they ask me to witness the falling of leaves
they ask me to be the change.

Saturday, 13 April 2013

Night Bus

Dusk has fallen
The sun crawling down
Committing a sin.
She set out.
As the sun fell down the horizon
they thrashed her.
She must have made some mistake
for, it was a dark time...
Her soul exquisitely tortured.
A deadly ride,
shrieks of the sinner:
Hospital, surgeon, knife
Say all effort in vain.
Yet full of hope
keeping body and soul together,
as her days drew near the corner
she lived a life
buried in sunset.

Saturday, 16 March 2013

The Final Stage.

Fragile, she sits there
All day long
Tilted neck
Uttering silent words
Staring in the vacuum
It's all empty
Weeps silently
What is it?
Does she recall her childhood?
Or her youth?
Or the middle age?
Well, she's been through it all
All ages.

Do not let go of my hand
Whispers she.
Cheerful faces around her
Getting her back
To, what they say is, Life.
They talk merrily
They cook deliciously
They laugh
All to bring her back from trance.

She does come back.
It's all part of a master plan, they say.

That's Shakespeare's final stage, I say.